Hope from within

I got up today with so much hope that I had to share it. The past week has been such an emotionally draining week! For most of you that don't know me. I am currently in an IR relationship that is going well but my mom is giving me a hard time. She doesn't want me to be in the relationship because she just doesn't like my bf. She has never really given him a chance.

I have kinda accepted the fact that she might never give him a chance. I have almost given up that she will become comfortable enough and let go of some assumed fears. All I want is for her wahala to stop. I just want her to get used to the fact that she has not given me a good reason to doubt the relationship.

There is so much unnecessary wahala (drama). It started to take a huge toll on me. I decided to take a few days to just take care of myself and focus on the Lord for strenght. I was starting to cry almost every single day and I was starting to internalize and overreact to everything.

I took some emotional time off. I wanted to let go of some stress and focus on God's love. I needed to remind myself that God has promised that his plans will result in a future and a hope. I needed to remember that whether I liked it or not God is the only one I need in life and everything else is jara (extra, icing on the cake). I needed to realize that no matter the circumstance and the outcome my needs has already been met because God is all I need! I needed to put God first and remember that the jara is not required, it's just extra blessing.

Ofcourse I knew this intellectually but I just needed to really absorb it and let it simmer in me. I have been praying and letting God just work in me. I wanted to do this because without it I was running the risk of making the things around me take over the place of God. Things were just taking uneccessary control over me.

God has been really gracious and I was starting to slowly come back to confiding solely on God. Another thing happened and it was almost back to square one but God helped me navigate through my emotions. He moved me to do some practical things to deal with this.

I woke up this morning expecting to be freaked out by the recent events but found myself with so much hope. I don't remember the last time I have felt hope like this. Hope from within. Hope that had nothing to do with my situation because based on the recent happenings I expected be in deep inner turmoil. I just know that this is God's doing and I am so grateful. I am grateful that he can teach me to depend on his consistancy and not really on this roller coaster ride called life.

Naija woman + Oyibo Man Movies???

Yes! I too did a double take. It is true. The movie is called "Through the glass". I think? This is a Nigerian movie starring non other than Stephanie Okereke. It looks to be very good and high quality. I cannot wait to see it. Check out the preview below.

I AM VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS!

A Little on the movie:

"Jeffrey [Garret Mckenchnie] lives the ultimate bachelor's life through numerous non committed relationships, but struggles to excel at work and gain his father's love and acceptance.Jeffrey's life gets more intriguing when life deals him a card that stops him in his track. On a typical day, he returns from work to find a note "take care of your responsibility" Left on top a baby abandoned on his doorstep. In nothing short of what is scary, confusing and comedic, he turns to his Nigerian neighbour, Ada [Star actress Stephanie Okereke] who he has a secret crush on to help him."

What happens to the baby and what about his crush on Ada? Will he become commited? That readers will have to wait till you see the move. Enjoy the preview though

ABEG GET THE WORD OUT!! Maybe I should just travel to LA to show my support...

Black Women & IR (Interracial Relationships)

It's happening and I LOVE IT iLove it I love it!

The media is shinning some light on it and people are becoming more and more exposed to it!

Most people who know me know that I am a big supporter of interracial relationships. I am in one and I have always been attracted to men outside my race! There was once a time when it was hard to find information on black women dating outside of their race. It was a topic that was just not talked about. I am pleased to see many blogs, groups, google images about black women and IR.

I am such a big supporter of interracial love. I think it is beautiful when black women get together with white men, asian men, indian men, hispanics! I just like the fact that love is more than skin deep and the fact that 2 people who come from different backgrounds can have so much in common.

Some Misconceptions

As I immerse myself in this fun surfing adventures of BW interracial topics I can't help but notice a certain rhetoric. There is a lot of talk that black women date outside their race because they have a stereotypical view of black men. While I cannot speak for other black women, I must say that this is not the case for me. I have the privelege of growing up in an environment with positive black male. My father loved his family. Infact, I am who I am because of my black father. He was educated, hardworking, respectful, responsible, God loving. It is funny because the white man that I am dating reminds me so much of my father and that is a good thing! I have 2 very good looking, wonderful, inspiring, college educated brothers and so many great black male friends. In short, for me I love my black brothas but I just seem to be romantically attracted to white male. I don't think that my attraction should take anything away from my views that their a many good brothas out there. All I am saying is, don't take it personally.

Some Concerns

Although information is good. I fear a trend. I do not want BWWM IR to become just a trend. IR need to be carefully entered into because by nature it tends to bring 2 people from 2 different backgrounds together. Relationships are already hard because human beings are selfish and very flawed. Relationships take a lot of commitment, work and "dying to self." IR is no different. Infact IR has it's own unique challenges because of the multi-background tendency. Not only are you blending 2 individuals you are blending 2 backgrounds, different upbringing, different views of the basic things in life.

CONCLSION

I am a strong supporter of love. I pay more attention to topics about black women in love because I am a black woman and these issues are close to my heart. I support black women in IR because it is different and it is beautiful. I hope to see many black women in IR staying together, getting married and commiting to a forever after with their hobbies. I pray that more people will find God because his value system far exceeds any other value system you can find. I believe that any relationship that puts God 1st will succeed. SO HAPPY LOVE!

My Nigeria

Nigeria, my home, my country of birth, the country of my father. I am an Igbo girl with a passion for my people! I eat rice almost every day and I can roll the biggest garry. I used to compire my garry with my father's and they used to remind me that I am a girl and I soundn't swallow fufu like a man. They said I will develope an adam's apple. The memories...

I wish people will understand my love for my country, my culture and my heritage. I wish the world will look at my history and realize that it would be almost impossible to snatch the Igbo girl out of me.

I understand how people coluld assume that being in an intercultural relationship could draw someone away from their culture but I shall argue that it is just perception. There are many factors to consider when it come to culture retention. It is not a one dimentional thing. Marrying into another culture does not automatically a person from their culture.

I believe that it is very important for people to remain true to themself in life, in love etc. For me this means remaining true to my values, my love for Christ, my love for my family and my love/passion for Nigeria.

My Interracial Relationship

Where do I start? I will start with a little overview.

I am in love with a great man! We have been together for a little over a year and have known eachother for a little longer than that. We are in a "bit", ok a long distant relationship but hopefully all that will change very soon.

Although from different backgrounds, we get along very well. He is a caucasian American and I am a black African. More specifically, I am Nigerian by birth, parents, everything! I consider myself a true Igbo girl, born, bread and buttered! My Naija folks will understand that last sentence.

Some of you might ask; what is a "true Igbo girl" doing with an Oyibo (American/white) man? My response is: why not? We get along very well and I am very thankful to have him in my life.

I felt the need to shine a little light on my relationship because I will be posting some blogs about some of our experiences on this blog. I am excited about opening up on our relationship because is not much information about IR among Nigerian or African. I hope to help people with my experience and I hope to learn more from people who have been there and done that.